In Memory Of...

Jack
Born: June 2007 Died: September 2008

Heads hang low and hearts weep for those on staff at the Zoo. Yesterday we lost our California Sea Lion Pup, Jack. He was just over a year old and his sudden death has shaken the staff to the core. Necropsy reports are pending and we all are doing our best to carry on.

For those involved yesterday was a tough day as will be the days and weeks to follow. We are all plagued with doubts and "what ifs" regarding this tragedy. Could it have been prevented? Should we have done something differently? Was there something else we could have done? Perhaps we'll get answers when the pathology tests come back.

For me there will be no answers. No absolution. I was off yesterday and when my fellow Keepers were calling me to get me to come in and help when this tragedy struck, I wasn't answering my phone. I was out running errands and didn't have my phone with me. After returning home I did not check my phone for messages as I normally would. So I did not find out about this tragedy until it was too late to offer assistance. I was the only staff member that was not there yesterday, and I hate myself for that. No amount of absolution from those who were there will ease the feelings of failure I feel for not being there. Even though there was little to be done at least I'd have been there with everyone else. I have not been able to look anyone in the eye since I found out because I feel unworthy of it. I have never hated myself more than I do now.

As the staff members of the Zoo collectively mourn Jack's passing. We will try to look to the future and what improvements can be made to not only to the exhibit but also to our methods of care and training. Jack was an energetic and care free Sea Lion and he'd want us to remember the joy he brought to all of us and those who visited the Zoo. His loss may leave us all wanting, but he will always remain in our hearts.