Reality....Hi I don't think we've met

At some point yesterday Reality and myself parted ways. I do not remember just when it happened only that it did. It's been awhile since I've had a true mental breakdown, so I suppose I was due.

Yesterday was a very rough day for me. I lost 2 animals at work. While both losses were devastating and hard to deal with the loss of one in particular is most likely what sent me over the edge. Otto, beloved barn cat was a highlight of everyday at work. He was such a cool cat. Always a character. Losing him hurt. I miss him a LOT.

This morning was the first time since moving here just shy of a year ago, that I woke up thinking, "I SO do NOT want to go into work today" yet I did. I wanted to be a trooper and all that, but by the time I clocked in I regretted it. I was so Anti-work and Anti-Utica that I just wanted to scream. So at a lil past noon I told my boss that I was leaving. I just couldn't deal with the BS that day. So I left........... peace out.

I'm guessing a fellow Keeper saw me walking out or perhaps news travels fast cuz I was barely home when she called me asking if I was ok. I know I ranted to her for a good 5-10 mins but now I can't recall what I was ranting about. It's been a few hours since that call so I've processed and de-stressed a bit so I'm able to try and figure out how this happened.

Work frustrations along with other personal issues had been piling up a bit lately. So my best hypothesis is that the losses yesterday just broke me and magnified all the otherwise more minor annoyances into a system meltdown. A threshold had been breached and I just couldn't cope. I just had to get away. I'm not super thrilled about it. I usually try to deal with stuff before it gets this bad but, stuff just came at me hard and fast this time and it was too much.

I did learn today that grocery shopping when you're upset is just as dangerous if not more so than shopping when you're hungry. It was supposed to be a quick trip for a "few things". $50 later I now have lots of snacks and crap that I didn't really need but I suppose if I was ditching work in order to piece myself back together I can splurge on all the snacks I want. Just try and tell me otherwise, I dare you!

I have since found and reintroduced myself to Reality and we are currently working out the kinks in our relationship.