Random Thoughts of Nothingness

To you, My Friend

2012-02-12T16:47:00.002-05:00

I stood at my window and watched you drive away....Knowing it was the last time you'd be at my place. I miss you already and my heart aches at its loss. I've felt distracted and edgy ever since I watched you leave. My thoughts are scattered and my emotions conflicted. For once, tonight I am glad that I have to work, so for a few hours at least I can distract myself from thoughts of sadness and sorrow.

It was somewhat fitting that there was snow on the ground today. As if even the heavens above shared in my feelings of loss. They cried as I did but being cold outside their tears turned into snowflakes, blanketing the ground for all to see and to signify to the world that we mourn. My tears for you are mixed...Both of sorrow and of joy. I am sad to see you leave but also very happy that you are moving toward a new happier place. The overcast sky mirrors my melancholy mood and yet I can see the newly fallen snow as a sign of fresh starts and new beginnings. At this moment I feel like a tiny island in the middle of a vast and somewhat stormy sea. You were a neighboring island and together we formed a small chain that calmed the sea and diminished the loneliness, if only for awhile. Just knowing you were around even if we didn't see each other as much as we wanted... Just the thought of you being nearby was a comfort.

As you now begin the next chapter of your life I hope that you will look back on our adventures together with the same fondness as I do. Those moments we shared will live on forever and I know in the coming days I will remember them often and smile. For they were some of the best times of my life. From the day we first met I felt a connection to you. We are kindred spirits and I thank the fates for bringing you into my life.

They say people come into our lives for a reason and we are lead to those who will help us most to grow. I truly believe that in our case that is true. And now, as the miles between us grow, know that no matter how far away the winds of change may take us...You will always be with me, like a hand print on my heart. As sad and lonely as I feel at this moment...I know this is not the end but only the beginning. Safe travels my friend. I love you.

Customer Pitfalls

2011-12-04T23:52:00.003-05:00

To my Cashier/Bagger peeps....Ok now we've all talked about it and now I've actually attempted to write them down. Here's a list of things that our customers do that aggravate, annoy and just plain piss us off. I've written some comments after each one in italics to indicate at least what I'm saying in my head as each of these occur. So if any of the rest of you reading this are guilty of any of the actions listed here....SHAME ON YOU!

(in no particular order)

1. Talking on your phone while going through the check out. hang up for the 2 minutes it will take to complete your transaction, or don't get all pissy when the cashier ignores you, you freaking hypocrites

2. Having more than 14 items in a clearly marked Express Lane. Do you even know how to count?! How hard is this?!

3. Asking, "What button do I press for Credit?" It says what button to press if you read the freaking screen! It's right in front of you

4. Plunking the hand basket onto the register belt and not bothering to unload it. How lazy are you? Do you see me unloading shopping carts...no? Well why do you think it's my job to unload your groceries?! Lazy Mother F#$%$ (my biggest pet peeve if you couldn't tell)

5. Instead of handing the cash to you the customer just tosses it in your general direction. I'm like a foot and a half away from you, can't you just hand it to me? I'd love to just toss your change to you, but I can't.....damn

6. Having a case of water, or cat litter, or cat/dog food in cart and assuming we'll see it and magically scan it even though it's no where near us or the scanners. I get it...it's heavy and you don't want to put it on the belt, but at least tell us it's there so we can use our scanning gun to get it, but you gotta at least have it near us. Not much I can do when it's 5 feet away....my scanner only reaches so far so help us out here.

7. WIC order where every single item is wrong. Come on! You get the same booklet we do that tells you what is accepted and what isn't. Know what you can and cannot get!

8. You're half way through scanning an order when they hand you the WIC checks. Argh! Are you kidding me?! Unless it's your first time you should know to give us those first. Now we have to go back and void everything and start over. I hate WIC

9. Asking for double paper bags or plastic then paper. Time consuming and plain annoying not to mention not very eco friendly

10. The order is processed and you've been handed money and while you're counting out their change, they suddenly toss you some coins, which do NOT make exact change so now you're scrambling to do math in your head to figure out just what to give back to them. Either tell us you have some change to add to the paper bills or just never mind. This crap messes up our drawers which can get us into trouble when being audited.

11. Customer has reusable bags (on the bottom of their cart) and don't bother to tell you so you've bagged most of their order when they toss them at you. Yeah great, just what I wanted to do was bag your stuff twice. How about some forethought and NOT bury the bags under all your stuff.

12. They leave their receipt at the end of your register. Oh did you not want your receipt? All you had to do was tell us and we'll happily toss it for you, but don't just leave to litter my register....Rude!

13. They stand there holding their money out for you while you're busy bagging their order. Yes I see you but can't you see I'm a little busy. Either give me a hand or put the money down. Don't waggle it in my face I'll get to it.

14. You greet the customer and they completely ignore you. Really?! Mommy and Daddy didn't teach you to be polite and say "hello, I'm fine how are you" when greeted? It's not like we really care how you are but we have to say it. So the least you could do is answer...Rude!

15. Give you rumpled, crumpled, folded or otherwise mashed up money. Really annoying to not only pick up the money you unceremoniously tossed at us, but now I have to flatten it out so it doesn't look like a 5-year old used it as a tissue...great thanks.

16. It's near closing....announcements have been made several times warning all still inside of our imminent closing and yet they still won't LEAVE. Come on! I want to go home! I've worked a very long day and deserve the right to leave on time. I'm sure wherever you work you're out the door at the stroke of 5 and not one minute later. Why do we not deserve that same respect?

17. It's a very large order....you're bagging as best you can as items come flying down the belt at you....you're running out of room to put the bags....if only you had the customer's cart you could free up space and make life easier, but alas the customer is leaning on it chatting with the cashier. I'm drowning in bags down here. Give me the cart!

18. A classic... "I just need one more thing"...............and they are gone for 10 minutes or more. Meanwhile you're partway through scanning their stuff so you can't just move onto the next customer and the other customers in line are giving you the evil eye since you're just standing there waiting. (also rarely a shift leader in sight to save the transaction so you can move on) Again where's the consideration?!

19. They hand you a Price Chopper Advantage card. News flash....you're not in Price Chopper. Note the RED shirts (price chopper is Blue) and all the signs that say Hannaford!!!!!! Wake up people!

20. Asking you what the price is of an item when they are standing right in front of the sign that gives that exact information. Can't you read? Or are you really that lazy?

21. Their total is $3.55 and they hand you a $100 bill. I know you had a $5 bill. I saw it! I'd rather just break the $100 for you than have to count out all this random change!

22. Leaving their carts at the end of your register. Ok so you don't need it to get to your car, but you're going to walk RIGHT PAST where the carts live as you exit....need I say more?

23. Another classic: "Are you open?" Nope I'm just standing here at this register with the light on for no apparent reason.

You

2011-08-19T20:39:00.002-04:00

I thought of you today. I'm not really sure why. It's been so very long since you've crossed my mind that I found it odd that you had popped into it. I wonder where you are, what you're doing and if you are well. Has your life gotten better? Did you seek those things you wanted? Or are you still sitting at your pity party all alone? I've changed a bit since we saw each other last, and I wonder....would you even know me anymore? If we were to pass each other on the street would you recognize me? Would I recognize you? Would it even matter? What would we even say to each other? For the moments you spent on my mind they didn't inspire me to try to find you. You are part of my past and while you may cross my mind now and again your place is and always will be there....in my past

Questioning

2010-10-04T21:11:00.002-04:00

So lately I've had the biggest urge to start smoking again and I'm not sure why? It's been like 8 years since I quit so why now all of a sudden do I feel that urge to buy a pack? I haven't, but there's a strong pull to do so. Smokey-treats are like $10 a pack now so hopefully that will keep me away. Too poor to afford it. Don't wanna be a mooch off of my smoker friends but be warned...if you offer to bum me one I'll probably say yes. Hopefully this is just a passing phase and will go away soon. Very odd though.

Picking up the Pieces

2010-09-19T18:36:00.002-04:00

In Loving Memory of Max

Standing in the sunlight at the edge of the pool,
Watching the rain fall from the sky.
The sun beating on my face
Takes its toll on me.
I close my eyes to hide from the sun and I
Collect my tears for you.

I take a reality check,
And know I must start anew tomorrow.
You won't ever come back.
It's hard to see through my troubles and fears.
I'll never forget you and what you brought me.

Drowning in sorrow for awhile,
Till I can pick up the
Shattered pieces of my life,
Since I don't have you anymore.

Colored Emotions

2010-08-25T20:52:00.002-04:00

Random thoughts of nothingness,
Drift idly over a cotton candy blue sea.

Idle dreams of laziness,
Slip slowly through the pea green mist of forgetfulness.

Somber cries of loneliness,
Fall softly down the smoke grey tunnel of unhappiness.

Angry wails of outrage,
Stomp heavily upon the midnight black stones of injustice.

Peaceful sighs of contentedness,
Float quietly on snow white clouds of solitude.

Cheerful cries of laughter,
Fly wistfully across a lemon yellow sun.

I wrote this back in 2002 and recently stumbled upon it whilst cleaning. Not too shabby so I thought I'd share.

De Ja Commercial

2010-07-05T23:00:00.002-04:00

There are few things better than spending an entire weekend watching Marathons of some of your favorite shows. You can spend the entire day just lounging on the couch getting caught up on your favs. A couch potato well rooted to the cushions.

The downside, aside from not being very productive, is that you see the same commercials all day long. It does tend to get a bit monotonous when you can script the next commercial break. Best bet is to find something else to flip to during those commercials and flip back when they're over. It is a lil sad that these channels have only so many commercials. I think that lack of variety works against those few chosen commercials. After hearing their sales pitches all freakin' day I am truly turned off to whatever they're selling. Something to think about all you Advertising and Programming people. You can indeed over do it.

Memories...like the corner of my mind, where the dust bunnies are

2010-06-14T21:39:00.002-04:00

They say the strongest sense tied to memories is scent and I completely agree. There are times when I'm at work that I'll catch a whiff of a scent I think belongs to a friend come to visit me, but when I turn or look up at its source it's someone I don't know. Ok so it's not perfect but scents do trigger memories. Just today I happened into the basement of my apartment building and for some reason it smelled very similar to what my grandparent's basement used to smell like, and it brought up some happy and some sad memories. Yes indeed, scent is very much linked with memories.

Sometimes though, I wonder why that is? Sure smell is a powerful sense but sight has to be right behind it right? I'm sure there is a scientific reason that smell is more linked to memory than sight. Perhaps there's a stronger connection in the brain b/w the two or maybe the place where memories are stored is next to the scent receptor area, or even maybe the little blue critters in our heads that keep things organized have big noses so that's their filing system. Mine are elephants.

No question that taste and touch are not as high ranking. I mean at least in terms of meeting people we don't lick each others' faces or hands though we could but I think the consequences of that would not always go as planned. Especially after seeing how many people leave a public restroom w/o washing their hands.....And as much as I like hugs I don't want to hug everyone I met. There are limits. Handshakes can only tell so much and only if it's an especially strong or weak handshake. Alas, poor hearing....you really got screwed with me. Having only one good ear does not lend to a very perceptive sense of hearing. It's not your fault right ear that your other half is defective. You do your best and I'm grateful for that.

It's kinda amazing how a scent can trigger a memory. However it works I find it fascinating.

Want some Cheese with that Whine? Yes....How 'Bout Some Swiss

2010-02-21T13:25:00.002-05:00

I had a really bad day yesterday. I'm sure I've had worse but this one ranks in the top 3 at least. Here's the set up: this happened Friday night into and including Saturday. It had been a long and tiring week at work. With snow, one less keeper, a less than dependable relief keeper and baby sea lion feeding sessions I was wiped out. My body was fatigued to the point of failure and I had just one more day to get through before I could rest and recoup on my weekend. For whatever reason my brain perhaps in response to my body being in distress decides to plunge me into a nightmare that while I knew I was dreaming I could not get myself out of. For some reason it involved being stuck with an Ex and it's ensuing confrontation. Hard as I tried I could not get myself out of this dream so I slept very poorly. When thank the spirits the alarm went off I was able to escape its clutches.

So bleary eyed and feeling even more fatigued I stumble into the bathroom and flick on the light to begin the day......at first I thought I missed the switch or didn't fully flick it on... flick, flick, flick....Oh crap. No power. Great just effin' great. Not that I can't get dressed in the gray light of the day, it just was an inconvenience I could have done without. Just about every device I had was flashing "12:00" It did explain why I didn't smell my coffee when I got up. It too had lost power and as such the program that brews my morning pick me up was not there. Damn!

So sans coffee and a decent night's sleep I head off to work, already in a dismal mood. I get to the door leading into our main building and when I grab the handle to open it.....nothing happens. Our early person forgot to unlock it. *grumble grumble* It's not a big deal but it did mean I had to walk to the other end of the building to get to a door I could open. My mood was now snowballing downward and picking up speed. I believe the first things I said to a fellow Keeper were, "this day is gonna suck" Yeah and good morning to you too. I was cranky all day but I think mostly I kept quiet as not too say something I didn't mean to someone. There was definitely a dark cloud hanging over my head all day.

It would have been enough to just struggle through the day and come home and crash but alas I had to work my other job that night so I had to keep myself together a little longer. In truth I felt better at the other job. Maybe it was cuz someone asked me what was wrong as I grumbled my "hellos" the other keepers I work with are more self involved to ask what's wrong. So I vented a little to a few coworkers and felt a little better. It does always help to hear someone say, "damn that sucks" Misery does love company. I thank my night shift coworkers for bringing me out of my funk a little bit. You guys rock!

My power has returned. It was back by the time I came home to change from job 1 to job 2, and I've gotten some decent sleep and feel much more capable to take on the world and it's issues. So all is right with the world.......for now.

Bag Lady

2010-02-16T23:48:00.003-05:00

It's time for another edition of, "Things at Hannaford that bug me" Today's topic was suggested by a coworker and I'm surprised I hadn't thought of it before....let's talk bags. For now I won't even get into those canvas "save the environment" bags or even our Paper bags. Right now let's just focus on the plastic bags.

Now the bags we use at the store are nothing special. Just your average run-of-the-mill plastic bags. Aside from what we put into the bags our customers don't think much of them, but for us Cashiers and Baggers it's a different story. These bags can be the bane of our existences, or ok the bane of our shifts at the store.

At times you cannot get them to separate or open so that you can put items into them. Of course this always happens when you're in a hurry, you have no bagger and it's a big order, or it's nearly time for your break/lunch/end of shift. We've struggled to get these bags open to the point where we need to do the ole lick the finger trick to get the darn thing open. Not what some of our customers like to see but hey I don't see them running down and helping me out.

Other times you go to take the bag you've just filled with merchandise off the rack and one, or more bags come with it. This is obviously a defect in production, but still annoying none-the-less. Now we have to tear off the extra bags, no sense giving the customer empty bags, which sometimes takes a little pulling. Now we have these loose bags to deal with which are such a pain. They just don't work right unless they are on the lil holders we have, but we can't just throw them out. It's a perfectly good bag, just loose from the group. These we try and save for small orders where one bag is all we need. No sense fighting with a loose bag for a big order.

Our bags like most nowadays are thinner to cut down on the amount of plastic used to make them. This is all well and good, eco friendly and all that, but the down side to that is they rip and tear easier. To be fair to the bags though there are some products out there that seem to be packaged in such a way to create bagging trouble. It seems as if the corners of all boxed items have gotten sharper. I swear some of these packages rip through a bag like it was nothing. All the cashier or bagger can do is groan inwardly and re-bag or double bag the ripped one and move on.

Some nights it seems as if the bags have conspired against us. I only work 4-5 hour shifts but when the entire time you're fighting with just about every bag it can be a very long shift indeed. On those nights I adore the customers who say, "I don't need a bag" My heroes!

Aaah Nutz!

2010-02-16T23:42:00.002-05:00

So thanks to a friend I now have a new snack food option. Up until a few days ago I had never eaten a Pistachio. Not sure if I never had the opportunity before or if I did maybe they creeped me out cuz they're green. Whatever the reason I tried them and they are actually quite tasty.

I've never really been a big fan of nuts, well except Peanuts but now I can add Pistachios to my list of good nuts. Expensive lil buggers but a fun snack. Somewhat addictive since after I tried one at lunch the other day, I couldn't keep my hand from going back into the bag for more. Now at some point I'll probably have to pony up and buy some. Thank you and darn you BLuR for getting me hooked on these funky green nuts!

My Favorite Holiday Commercial

2009-12-14T23:17:00.002-05:00

I do love this commercial. It always makes me smile.

Hershey's Kisses Christmas | Viral/Other | SPIKE.com

They're your dishes too

2009-12-14T22:37:00.002-05:00

Recently I underwent surgery and because of that I was put on work restriction for 6 weeks. At the zoo this meant I couldn't work in my usual area, Children's Zoo, because the work required a lot of heavy lifting, so during my restriction I was trained in and worked the Diet Prep area. Much less heavy lifting here. It was a new experience and I was happy to be trained in another area of the Zoo. Aside from that, the other thing I took with me from working in the kitchen is the fact that the other Keepers don't help out enough with the dishes.

In the kitchen is where just about everyone washes their diet dishes. The exception is Children's Zoo, being so far away from the kitchen and having their own sink in the Main Barn, they handle their own dishes and only bring up clean ones. It frustrated me that even though all the other areas put dishes into the sink and bleach bin they rarely continued the process of rinsing them after the disinfection time or put away any rinsed dishes. I guess in theory it's the job of the kitchen person but I don't think that's fair. They all spend time in the kitchen so why is it so hard for them to help the process along? They will shove, cram and pile dishes into the bleach bin to the point where some aren't even touching the bleach water and just walk away. A dish doesn't get disinfected if it's not in the bleach water. How they can justify that action is beyond me.

Like the other areas in the zoo, the kitchen has a lot of stuff going on so it was hard to keep up with everyone's dishes and still complete all the kitchen tasks. It frustrated me that no one else seemed to care one bit about the back log of dishes. It really annoyed me, still annoys me hence this post. I mean they're your dishes too why can't you help out the process? We all know where the dishes go so why not put a few of the dry dishes away to at least make room for a few to be rinsed from the bleach water and set to dry? It's not a hard process, it just takes a few moments to help out a little. Lazy inconsiderate mother effers.

I'm going to try and be the change I want to see here and help out with dishes even though I'm back in CZ now where I'm not part of this problem, but maybe being part of the solution may help others change their ways. Yeah.....it's a nice theory but what I think will happen is my helping out will just give them another excuse to not help. "Oh don't worry she'll do it" thinking. Like with a lot of things here they miss the true point and only see a way for them to do less. I find it annoying and sad that a group of "adults" would act this way and still claim that we're a team. Sure we're a team when you have a project that you need help with, we all need to jump when you say so, but for everyday stuff like dishes it's all a lot of NMP mentality. *NMP=not my problem* Just makes me shake my head in disbelief. So sad.

Tripped at the Finish Line

2009-12-03T23:45:00.002-05:00

I'm very aggravated right now. It's now nearly midnight and I've only been home for maybe 20 mins. My shift was supposed to end at 11pm so I should have been home by 11:15 at the latest depending on traffic lights. Not so tonight. These two bitches delayed my departure a good 15-20 mins. Why they insisted on doing their shopping in the few moments before the store closed is beyond me, and what's worse is they EACH had like 4 or 5 WIC orders.

Now for those of you who have no idea what WIC is it's a program NY has to help out women with children (WIC = women, infants & children). Basically they have these prewritten checks that they can use for specific food items. They are a pain in the butt normally since each check has to be processed as it's own order and every item must be exactly what the system allows or it won't accept it. So here I am 3 mins before 11 thinking soon I'll get to go home and crash. Been running on high for a few days now with triple back to back shifts so I'm beat, but NOOOOOO, I have to deal with these two yahoos. My shift leader was just as thrilled as I was. Apparently our announcements that we were closing didn't matter to them cuz they didn't even get to the registers until 2 mins after 11. That's when I saw the checks and groaned. These two ree-ree's didn't even have half the right stuff for their orders. We overrode a lot of stuff just to get them the fuck outta the store so we could go home. It was ridiculous. Oooooh I'm still so freaking pissed about it. Granted I got paid for the time I was there but seriously it's not a secret that WIC checks are a pain in the ass so why would you ever try to do that kind of shopping right before the store closes?! As hard as I tried not to give them dirty looks I'm sure I did and I don't give a fuck. Fire me! I don't care that was B.S. that we dealt with and I'm sure we'll get spoken to for over riding so much stuff but they can just eat me!

Doesn't help my case that I'm wired on coffee. I was practically falling asleep when I got to work so on my break at 9 I bought a small coffee knowing it would keep me up later than I wanted but I just couldn't stop yawning. Something had to be done. Now not only am I wired on caffeine but I'm still worked up about those two hoochies! God! It just pisses me off how inconsiderate these two were. They didn't even say the obligatory "sorry for keeping you so late" like other last minute shoppers do as if that makes up for not hearing the announcements that we'll be closing in 15, 10, and 5 mins and the we're now closed announcement followed by 1/3 of the lights shutting off. Fucking bitches. I hope their Baby Daddy's smack them around, might knock some sense into them. Well...ok...maybe that was going too far but Jesus Effin' Christ have a little consideration. Just cuz you got the checks doesn't mean you're entitled to ignore the rules of common sense and decency. Those two probably wouldn't even know the meaning of those two words, too many syllables for them. Stupid hoes.

My Melancholy Tranquility....Ruined.

2009-11-30T20:58:00.005-05:00

Damn you Criminal Minds! Not only are you an addictive show that has sucked me into your Profiling abyss, but now you ruin a favorite song of mine. The episode is "Ashes & Dust" with an opening of a family getting trapped in their house as it is set on fire. The song that they play whilst the family tries to escape their fate is "Boadicea" by Enya (see below). I totally dig Enya, have since college. Always good music to listen to when studying, or working on projects. Lets my mind focus on what it's doing but breaks the silence nicely. Sometimes when I write it inspires.

I'll admit the song does fit that opening scene quite well, it's calmness an erie balance to the frantic family struggle. In general I enjoy Enya's more melancholy songs and this one was no exception, but now every time I hear it I think of that opening scene. No other images can replace that powerful beginning. It just sucks because it was sad watching the tragedy. For now I will have to switch CDs until I can change the images brought to mind by that song. Damn you Criminal Minds.

Enya - "Boadicea" in "Criminal Minds" [Diboan Audio Emphasiz
Uploaded by diboan. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Slacker

2009-11-30T19:35:00.002-05:00

So I've totally been slipping about blogging. I knew it had been awhile since I posted something but I was still surprised that June was the last time. Really thought I had done something in July, but no matter life got carried away with me so I missed a few months. I'm sure I've forgotten subjects I wanted to talk about and share, but should those thoughts reenter my brain I'll try to play catch up.

I've really had little to no motivation lately. Things I'd have been Johnny on the spot about before have fallen by the way side. I don't know if I was run down from work, the issues with my bad ear and subsequent surgery, or what the cause was. At times I was overwhelmed by how much I had going on that maybe I just shut down on somethings as a survival mechanism. I do tend to take on too much and have often burned myself out. I need to find a happy medium between crispy critter and raw slacker.

Inconvienient Technology

2009-11-30T19:14:00.003-05:00

This is an ode to Register #5. Oh Register 5, how I loathe thee. It was such a let down to be assigned to you tonight. In short you suck Register 5! Your belts are frayed and clunky. Your scanner needs a seeing eye dog. Your conveyor ramp is offset so it rips many a package open much to the dismay of cashier and customer alike. Your money drawer pops out far too slowly if it pops out at all. Your touch screen? HA! More like pound screen. Banging away at your unresponsive screen has caused more miskeys than when I learned to type oh so many years ago. Some of those miskeys have even forced me to make change in my head and you know I totally suck-diddly-uk at math. Why they continue to even use you is beyond me. None of the other 8 registers cause as much trepidation and woe as you do. I truly feel that every cashier assigned to you should get a shirt at the end of their shifts saying, "I survived Register 5"

Powerful Petals

2009-06-29T22:14:00.005-04:00

Ok so I haven't done anything on here in awhile but that's what happens when life grabs you by the hand and starts running down the street full tilt. Now that I finally have a moment I felt the need to put something up to keep my followers checking in. Or at least let them know I haven't died.

Some of you may remember my super neato pix of the Water Lilies at the Zoo last year. If not reference Spring Blooms July 2008. Well here is the 2009 edition. This is a purple Iris that bloomed in front of my Children's Zoo Barn that was just so pretty it demanded photos. I still think the Lily pix were better but these aren't too shabby.

Day Dream Weaver

2009-05-25T21:02:00.002-04:00

Everybody daydreams, don't try to tell me that you don't. Some friends would call me "the dreamer" cuz I've always got a good daydream in mind. There's nothing better to help get you through a long, boring and/or monotonous task than a day dream. It's a mini escape from this reality which usually bites into your own personal fantasy land where you can be the hero, the villain or even the damsel in distress should you choose.

Those who know me know of the odd worlds and situations that my mind comes up with. A select few have even been allowed to read the stories that have been spawned from a daydream. There might be 1 or 2 more coming should I ever find the time, so for those chosen few (and you know who you are) be on the look out for a new story from me soon,.......maybe.

It's always sad when you come out of a daydream and remember that it was just a dream and now you're back in reality. Man that sucks! I know in the past few months I've been spending more and more time in Daydream Land and as little as possible in reality. Not sure if it's a bad thing or not, but it makes me wonder "why so much time in daydreams?" Does my reality suck so bad that I'm coping by not coping? Or is this how I'm coping? Is Daydreaming really a constructive way to cope? Whatever the reason it's good to know that the creative muses are still with me out here in backward land.

Pavlov

2009-05-22T15:01:00.002-04:00

So apparently I've classically conditioned myself much like Pavlov and his dogs. It wasn't something I did consciously but it happened none-the-less. The after effects from Cinco de Mayo were more far reaching that I originally surmised.

After Cinco de Mayo and my own lack of control I was obviously "on the wagon" while I recovered and refocused. I've had too many mornings after partying where I woke up feeling like death warmed over, put through a blender, breaded and then pan fried. It was not something I was proud of. I'm better than that or I was, but since moving to NY that quality along with a few others have changed. Not to say I never overindulged back in the Chi, just not as frequently as I have here. It was a major wake up call for me to get myself back to someone I wasn't ashamed of.

Like most, after a night of overindulgence the thought of drinking again turned my stomach. Now 2 weeks later I still get that same feeling when I think about drinking. The conditioning is not complete because I did have a few drinks last night, though I passed on the first shot which was the indicator to me that something was up. I had 2 beers, 1 shot and my friends might say 1 mixed drink, but I actually poured it down the sink in the bathroom. That really sucked cuz I payed $6 for it and couldn't drink it. For the rest of the night I drank water.

Not that this occurring is necessarily a bad thing, but I hope I can uncondition myself a little to at least be able to go out and enjoy myself once in awhile. I wanted to go back to who I was before losing control out here, but perhaps my system has gone to the extreme a little bit as my own new safeguard so I don't over do things. It was weird to have that feeling last night and unfortunate to have literally poured $6 down the drain, but there was no ignoring that "I never want to feel like this again" feeling. In fact, I feel a lil sick right now just blogging about it.

And They Call Me Crazy

2009-05-15T19:43:00.002-04:00

So my neighbor across the hall has a new addition to her front door that I have to say unnerves me a bit. It's an autographed photo of Steve Martin. It's an older photo that reminds me of the "Wild and Crazy Guys" SNL sketch he used to do. It's the first thing I see as I leave my apartment and it just kinda creeps me out. Why of all places would you put an autographed picture on your front door? It's really odd.

B & E

2009-05-04T21:03:00.002-04:00

Today I committed a B & E. Yes Breaking and Entering, but don't worry no cops showed up. In fact only one other person knows this act even occurred. Granted, once you read this post you'll know, but it's a funny story so I'm sharing!

Where did I break into? One of my Barns at the Zoo. The Peccary Barn to be exact, though I doubt anyone I work with even knows I have a blog let alone reads it. It is known though that I'm Notorious for leaving my keys places. Usually in doors, but locks just as often as well. That's what happened here. I had my keys in a shift lock and stupidly told my student who was shadowing me for the day to follow me out of the barn and to shut the door behind her. Moments later I realized my keys were not on my belt loop as they should be. Ah Crap! Now I'd have to walk all the way up to the Main office and snag someone else's keys to let myself back in. A walk of shame even if no one ever knew what I was doing, but then I saw an opportunity to salvage the situation.

Not that any of you would know but the Peccary Barn has what I would define as "shanty town" windows. They ain't Pella that's for sure. There isn't any glass just pieces of plexi that I'm sure the Maintenance guys cut. They do have screens so there's at least that. I'm not going to rag on the poor craftsmanship of these windows because that lack of quality construction is what saved me. I always wondered why that one window had a wire running across the back of it and it turns out that wire was what was holding the screen in place on the window. With the wheels turning in my head I scrambled up on top the old salt barrel and removed the wire. Just like that the screen popped out. Ok more like fell out, but out none-the-less. Now I had access to the barn if I could hoist myself up into this window.

From the ground this window is probably 5-6ft up and even on top of the barrel the ledge was at chest height maybe less. Wasn't too focused on how high it was. Oh I should mention that the window itself is about 2' tall x 4' long so it's a good thing I'm little or this might not have worked at all. With a deep breath and hopes for not killing myself on this adventure I hopped up and into the window. Success! I was partly there. Now I just needed some hand grips to help maneuver the rest of me through or I'd end up falling about 4' to the concrete floor of the barn. Not a good idea. With the help of the rafters and a lil wiggling I was soon in the barn and had retrieved my keys, Hurray!

Meanwhile, my student had no clue what had just happened until I told her, though maybe she realized that I was back a whole lot sooner than I said I would be. Whatever. She was too busy saying Hi to the Wallabies in the air lock which was fine. Not sure I could have trusted her to not snap a cell phone pic of me halfway through the window. ;)She did help me put the screen back in the window and I'm sure had a good laugh at the crazy CZ Keeper.

At least now I know that should the need arise I can get into that barn without keys. Not sure what instance that would be but I have other useless knowledge taking up space in my head so why not this too. It was helpful today, so I guess it's not totally useless.

Hang Up and Drive

2009-05-03T16:20:00.002-04:00

Ok so last night an amusing thing happened at work. Well amusing for me but not for the poor guy who it happened to, but it was his own fault. At least he was cool enough to laugh at himself and to us about it.

It was nearing the end of my shift, and this one had been especially boring. We weren't very busy and the manager on duty that night is not one of my favs, so this was a highlight. This customer ran his SUV into the posts we have in the parking lot for the Handicap spaces. These posts are painted concrete so he did some damage to his vehicle. He wouldn't have hit said post had he not been talking on his cell phone at the time. I hope whoever he was talking to was worth the hefty body shop repair bill he's now going to get. Needless to say it made me chuckle, and totally distracted the manager whom I don't really like so the last half hour of my shift went by in peace. I should have thanked that guy.

A Take Away About Band Aids

2009-04-30T23:30:00.002-04:00

So this lil tidbit of fun comes from my other job. At this establishment they are of the old school persuasion regarding piercings. Yeah they no likey. So I get to wear a fashionable band aid over my eyebrow piercing. I could just remove it for my shifts but that's a big hassle and a bit painful.

Now wearing said band aid fools no one, so I wonder whether it looks worse to wear the bandage or to just show the piercing. At any rate I do get sympathy from some customers who pass through my check out line, others just look at me funny, but that might not be because of the bandage, lol.

Tonight this little girl and her father came through my line. She must have been like 5, and kids that young are as blunt and honest as can be, so it was no shock to me when she turns to her Dad and asks, "why does she have that band aid on her head?" Half the check outs probably heard this question. I just smiled and looked at Dad wondering if he wanted me to field this question or if he was going to. The Dad replied that I had to hide something so that's why I was wearing it. Now I was waiting for the "why?" question but she seemed ok with that answer and let it go. Funny thing was they were buying 3 packages of different Band Aids. Go figure. Hers were cute ones though with Disney Princesses, Hanna Montana and Care Bears I think. Mine are "neutral" and boring cuz they have to be.

I told the girl that I liked her choice in Band Aids (though I could do w/o Hanna Montana but I wasn't going to tell her that). This must have impressed her cuz she then began to show me all of the Band Aids she was wearing, which were quite numerous. It reminded me of how I like to show off my tattoos. Maybe this is how it all starts. Today Band Aids, tomorrow Tats! It was really cute and it made me wonder if any of those Band Aids were actually covering wounds or if she was just putting them on to accessorize. I only had the one to show so she won the show and tell game. Luckily I didn't have a line so no one was getting bitchy at this lengthy show and tell. I think though that Dad had about had it. Perhaps it was Daddy/Daughter day and poor Dad was just worn out. I found it very touching and just too damn cute.

It was just a really cute experience and it stuck with me for the rest of my shift. It still makes me chuckle and smile. It was a highlight of an otherwise very boring shift.

The Maiden Rides Again!

2009-04-27T19:08:00.001-04:00

*still to be read with an English accent*

Welcome back to the land seemingly far far away. Our Maiden has had another adventure that she wishes to share with us. While she has learned many lessons from her last adventure (see "A Maiden, A Puddle and a Privy" -2008) it has not stopped her from having fun. Many nights of frivolity have transpired since her tragic episode, yet this one has been deemed worthy of sharing.

Our story begins with our Maiden receiving a scroll from her friend Johnny, a local Queen, informing her that there would be a Grand Ball at her Palace 2 evenings hence. How wondrous! A Grand Ball! Our Maiden was very excited to attend this gala event.

The Ball was fantastic! Many subjects from the land were there. Our Maiden even ran into her good friends Tony and Dan, a current HOT couple. The spirits flowed quite freely and there were trays upon trays of colorful Jell-O shots. Being a good girl our Maiden did not over do it, at first. Somehow she had agreed to play the "Sexy game" the court Jester, Cooper had started. Every time the Jester said the word "sexy" all those playing had to do a Jell-O shot. The Jester, that cheeky bastard was wasting no time in playing his game. There is after all always room for Jell-O. It wasn't long before all the players were quite tipsy including our Maiden.

While this game was very fun but also dangerous for our Maiden it is not all that happened. Just as the Ball was reaching full swing the local Constable comes to the Palace. A complaint had been reported and he was there to investigate. Well this sent everyone at the Ball into a frenzy. Some of the attendees were not quite old enough to be having spirits and others were in possession of a magical weed that was banned from the Kingdom. So when the Constable's carriage pulled up in front of the Palace, those who should not be seen attending the Ball were herded into a guest room to hide their presence. Our Maiden of course was not among those. She was more than of age to be partaking in spirits and she wasn't into magic weeds or herbs. Her friends Tony and Dan were among those hidden away. She told them not to worry, she would look out for them if it became necessary.

The Constable of course was not a nice man. There was something missing from his life which made him very unhappy and due to that he always made sure that no one could have any fun. Who could have complained? The Queen wondered. Everyone suspected that no one had, but the Sheriff had just been riding by and decided that there was too much fun going on at the Palace and had to put an end to it. He wanted to come inside but without a Warrant he could not cross the bridge into the Palace. Angered at the intelligence of the party he was hoping to bust he began to lecture. For what seemed like ages he scolded and threatened the Queen and all guests (our Maiden included). Finally after what seemed like an eon the big blowhard ran outta air and left. His parting words were, "if there's another complaint everyone here goes to jail" Good grief!

Once the Constable's carriage had gone down the lane our hidden party goers were let out of their hiding places. The band was struck up again and the party continued as if nothing had happened. The Queen, sadly was very upset, but the Jester and his Sexy game soon had our Queen laughing again. No way was the Constable going to ruin our fun.

The Constable was not seen again that night and before anyone knew it the time had come to end the Ball. Goodbyes were said and rides were arranged. Our Maiden having quit the Sexy game more than a candlemark ago and had switched to drinking water was able to take herself home. It had been a wonderful Ball despite the efforts of the Constable. While our Maiden would not get much sleep before starting her double shift day. She was very glad she had attended the Ball. For what's the point of working if you never get to have any fun?

Morbid yet Cathartic

2009-04-22T22:02:00.002-04:00

Death Toll 2009:

I've suffered 6 losses thus far in 2009, and it's not even May yet. I hope this pattern does not continue or it's gonna be a very very long year. I'm already emotionally fragile as is.

Feb: Loss of Uncle
March: Loss of Grandmother & Childhood Pets-Nanook & Clyde
April: Zoo animals-Otto (Barn Cat) & Pippen (Parma Wallaby)

Granted these are not all people but pets and the animals under my care at the Zoo are just as special and important to me as any person. More so in some cases. Whether furry, feathered or human their losses all hurt.

Reality....Hi I don't think we've met

2009-04-21T16:24:00.003-04:00

At some point yesterday Reality and myself parted ways. I do not remember just when it happened only that it did. It's been awhile since I've had a true mental breakdown, so I suppose I was due.

Yesterday was a very rough day for me. I lost 2 animals at work. While both losses were devastating and hard to deal with the loss of one in particular is most likely what sent me over the edge. Otto, beloved barn cat was a highlight of everyday at work. He was such a cool cat. Always a character. Losing him hurt. I miss him a LOT.

This morning was the first time since moving here just shy of a year ago, that I woke up thinking, "I SO do NOT want to go into work today" yet I did. I wanted to be a trooper and all that, but by the time I clocked in I regretted it. I was so Anti-work and Anti-Utica that I just wanted to scream. So at a lil past noon I told my boss that I was leaving. I just couldn't deal with the BS that day. So I left........... peace out.

I'm guessing a fellow Keeper saw me walking out or perhaps news travels fast cuz I was barely home when she called me asking if I was ok. I know I ranted to her for a good 5-10 mins but now I can't recall what I was ranting about. It's been a few hours since that call so I've processed and de-stressed a bit so I'm able to try and figure out how this happened.

Work frustrations along with other personal issues had been piling up a bit lately. So my best hypothesis is that the losses yesterday just broke me and magnified all the otherwise more minor annoyances into a system meltdown. A threshold had been breached and I just couldn't cope. I just had to get away. I'm not super thrilled about it. I usually try to deal with stuff before it gets this bad but, stuff just came at me hard and fast this time and it was too much.

I did learn today that grocery shopping when you're upset is just as dangerous if not more so than shopping when you're hungry. It was supposed to be a quick trip for a "few things". $50 later I now have lots of snacks and crap that I didn't really need but I suppose if I was ditching work in order to piece myself back together I can splurge on all the snacks I want. Just try and tell me otherwise, I dare you!

I have since found and reintroduced myself to Reality and we are currently working out the kinks in our relationship.

It Just Frosts Me!

2009-03-25T20:53:00.002-04:00

Ok so this has been bugging me for a few days now so I'm venting. First a wee lil back story or this won't make as much sense. I work part-time at a grocery store as a cashier. Ok now......

It's very annoying when people are too effin' lazy to take out their items from the little hand baskets. They just set them up on the belt where I have to reach into their basket and grab them. And they just stand there whilst I struggle to reach into their basket. Lazy Inconsiderate Mother EFFERS!!!!!!! It makes my job harder and just pisses me off. I have a scanning quota to meet for every order and you're not helping me reach that by pulling this kind of crap! I know they don't know or care, but Jesus how hard is it to remove your items? Take the items out of the basket and put them on the belt. Don't just stand there. What's worse is after I finally get all their stuff they decide to write a check. Couldn't you have been writing out the check as you stood there watching me reach into your hand basket and take out your items?! My Gods people are aggravating sometimes.

Now their transaction is complete and I'm left with this stupid hand basket and nowhere to go with it cuz the holder for them is where????? On the Customers side of course so they can put it there after unloading. DUH!!!! I hate people sometimes I really do.

Three Lefts is All Right!

2009-03-20T20:54:00.002-04:00

A week ago I donated blood. I had been slacking on that since I moved out here, but now I've gotten around to it I hope to make it a regular occurrence again. I have not tracked down any donation centers like I was used to going to whenever I wanted, but I can search for nearby blood drives easily enough.

I found it interesting that all of the people I dealt with for my recent donation were all fellow Lefties. The nice old lady who checked me in was a Lefty, we'll call her Old School Lefty since she was well into her senescence. The Tech who did my pre-screening was also a Lefty, I'll call him Lefty of a Thousand Questions because he had to ask me lots of stuff, and so was the Phlebotomist who actually stuck me, she can be You'll Feel a Little Pinch Lefty.

Kinda neat to have dealt with only Lefties. I'm sure most people don't notice those kinds of things, but I'll wager any Lefty would. We all have our little traits that we pay close attention to. I notice handedness as well as people's eyes. What do you notice?

Something New Everyday

2009-03-20T20:49:00.002-04:00

Today I learned a new term: Unshovel. Sure it won't get you any points in Scrabble because it's not a real word, but it is a real enough action. With Spring beginning to poke its head through Winter's fog we at the Zoo have begun to Unshovel areas.

To Unshovel is pretty straight forward. Instead of shovelling snow into piles to clear space we are now spreading it around to help melt it. Snow in a large pile will not melt as quickly as it would if it were spread a bit thinner on the ground. The more we can expose to the Sun's rays the more we'll get rid of. In an odd way we've come full circle. First we shovelled now we unshovel.

What was I Thinking?!

2009-03-06T21:23:00.002-05:00

Next week is going to be a Hell week for me and it's my own fault. I don't know what I was thinking but I have appointments/obligations on Mon, Tues, Wed, & Thur nights next week. That's on top of working an 8-hour shift beforehand.

On Mon, Tues & Wed nights I have classes for CPR and First Aid from 6-10pm each night. Thursday night I have a meeting at work that will go until who knows when. I haven't even checked my PT job schedule yet but it wouldn't surprise me if I'm working there on the few free nights I have. So it's entirely possible that I won't have a free moment to myself until Friday which is my "Saturday". I'm also going to give blood on Saturday morning. This week is going to be a rough one. Why I decided to do all this right now is beyond me. I'm baffled and amazed I didn't realize what I was committing myself to. That's what you get when you don't pay attention. Lesson learned. Now if I can just get through this coming week. Spirits Help Me!

Sign of a Bad Day

2009-02-15T19:45:00.003-05:00

I am in such a dark place right now I cannot even put my thoughts together properly so anyone can understand them. I've tried to write this post 4 different times, but it just isn't working so I'm giving up. This is all I can offer.

I feel so unhappy so often out here that I wonder if maybe I need to leave NY. I'm torn on this but I'm not sure I'm torn for the right reason(s). I don't want to do anything rash, but I don't like feeling so unhappy.

Remembering Dewey

2009-02-02T19:16:00.002-05:00

So I had a very random thought at work last night or was it this morning? Hard to remember since I work the overnight shift, it could have been either. Anyway as you may know if you follow this thing regularly that I've recently rediscovered the joys of the public library system. That got me thinking about back in the day learning about the Dewey Decimal System. Does anyone remember it? It was such a BFD back in Grade School, but I'm not sure if it's still used anywhere or not.

I can tell you that the library out here by me does NOT use Dewey. Pretty sure none of the college libraries I've been to do either. So what happened to Dewey? Do we need to form a search party? Should we make up some "Have you seen Me" flyers and post them around town? Did Dewey die, retire or just fade into obscurity like so many other things from our childhoods?

Maybe Dewey exists only in Grade School libraries, assuming of course that schools still have actual libraries and not just a room with a computer in it w/ Internet access. It's a very random thought I know but you'd be surprised at the thoughts I have during my overnight work. I seriously think even though I'm "awake" and working that it's my subconscious running the show. Sleep be damned! I'm running this show.

Literary Adventure

2009-01-23T16:40:00.002-05:00

So today I went and got a library card. I know it may seem odd, but it's a good way to read books without having to pony up any cash for them. Most of the books I own I rarely read more than once anyway so why shell out my hard earned cash at some bookstore when I can rent the book for free? It only took a moment and I discovered that on Fridays you can get a free cup of coffee, tea or cocoa if you go before noon. How neat! Of course I got my free cup of goodness and even found a book to read. I checked out "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. Yeah it's a classic, one some have been forced to read for one English class or another, but I never had to read it and thought I'd check it out. I really wanted 1984, but it wasn't in. So now I can catch up on some classics that for some reason I missed out on reading and in a be eco & financially friendly.

With all the big bookstores and the almighty Amazon.com I think libraries have fallen by the wayside. They are great resources and have more than just books now. Hell I can check online and see if the book I want is in, put it on hold for me, or renew a book I've already got all before setting foot into the building. As antique as they may seem libraries are pretty with it technology-wise. I recommend giving one near you a look see.

A New Obsession

2009-01-13T22:06:00.002-05:00

Ok so this is random but it's something I just need to share. I have a new obsession. Lately I've been unable to stop buying and immediately consuming BBQ Fritos. Not sure what it is about them but I just can't help myself. If you haven't tried them I recommend them but BEWARE they are addictive! I saw them in the store not too long ago and bought a bag to try. I needed something salty and crunchy for my lunches, but alas the bag never made it that far. I got home and decided to try them since they were a new thing and the next thing I know I'm practically licking the bag clean. Ooops. I'm a lil ashamed of my lack of self control when it comes to these particular corn chips, but I just can't stop. Perhaps I'll see about attending a Fritos Anonymous meeting.

Four Letter Words

2009-01-06T20:53:00.002-05:00

So I'm going to start out my 2009 posts with a bitch session. Well it might be more of a whine session. You decide. We got more snow recently out here in CNY. I have not seen this much snow since I was a kid vacationing at Grandma & Grandpa's house but my definition of what "a lot of snow" was probably skewed cuz I was smaller then. During my adult life so far I have not seen this much snow. Working in it is not fun. I have truly come to hate shoveling. Granted I shovel on a grander scale than most. I have no sympathy for anyone who complains about shoveling their driveway. Try shoveling out a Zoo. To me now snow is truly a 4-letter word.

Ok so yes we have a plow on our tractor and snow blowers at the Zoo, but those things can't always go where I need them to. Well, perhaps they could but would Maintenance let me take one? Not sure. I don't know how to use one, but I get the premise. I would just need someone to show me the little details about running one. Something I may look into and see if Maintenance would give lessons. They seem pretty protective about them though.

Anyway, I have done a lot of shoveling. Not just pathways to my animal exhibits but I have to shovel paths inside the animal exhibits. The animals deserve walkways too. Especially for some of my animals that aren't from wintry areas. I feel bad for those animals the most. I don't mind giving my animals paths to walk on where they aren't hoof, paw, or claw deep in snow, it's just that it takes so effin' long to accomplish this task. Almost half the day is gone and I've not yet cleaned or fed anyone. I'm too busy getting to them! It sucks. What a pain, literally. Great workout though.

We've had a lot of snow fall here thus far. Not sure if it's more, less or about right for this area. We've got at least 2 feet maybe more on the ground right now. I have snow piles in exhibits that are almost as tall if not taller than I am. That really makes it hard to see the animal(s) in that area and even more so when I have to shovel again. I am running out of places to put the snow where it's not in the way of something. Very frustrating.

Now the other night is rains, so now everything is ice. I think I'd prefer snow. Granted I don't have to shovel ice, but I have to chip it or throw sand on it. All of my nice shoveled paths are icy. We don't use salt because we would track it into the animal areas on our boots and that's not safe for the animals. At any rate I now need to haul sand around to make all those paths walkable and/or spend time chopping it which is not fun on the hands or arms. Plus getting hit with ice shrapnel hurts. Getting around at the Zoo is a fight to not slip and fall, not just because someone will see you fall and laugh, but no one wants to get hurt.

It's supposed to sleet/snow or both tonight which would really make for a craptastic day at work tomorrow. Pretty sure shoveling heavy and icy snow would truly suck. I'm looking forward to Spring but with that comes another set of problems. Not sure if there's a "good" season at the Zoo. Maybe just ones that don't suck as much.

A Maiden, A Puddle and a Privy

2008-12-28T20:48:00.004-05:00

*to be read with an English accent. it's more fun that way.*

Once upon a time in a land seemingly far far away. At least far far away from much of anything. There was a Maiden. She wasn't a queen or princess, nor did she live in a castle. No, no royalty resided in our Maiden's land. She wasn't very tall, nor did she have long flowing flaxen locks. So had there been any Princes in this tale she would not have caught there attention. Our Maiden didn't like guys anyway so no loss there. Our Maiden had her own place, and enjoyed her job and life in her little corner of the world seemed happy. Until one night an evil curse fell upon her and tampered with her mind, leaving her without her memory... Or maybe she just overindulged and had a bad night. You decide.

Our Maiden's story begins at her work. She worked with animals of all sizes and sorts. While ushering in some of her animals she slipped and fell cracking her head on the ground or... maybe a tree root. Dazed but otherwise ok she righted herself and finished up her duties. No delays would be tolerated for that night was the annual Holiday party for our Maiden and her Coworkers. No silly headache would put a damper on this night of frivolity.

A grand time was being had at the party. Our Maiden, freshly clean and pressed was enjoying the festivities with her colleagues. Most zealously was she enjoying the beverages from the barkeep. Perhaps a bit too quickly was she indulging. All was well thought our Maiden though knew she was getting tipsy rather quickly. Alas, this revelation did not deter our Maiden or even slow her down. Something wicked this way comes...

The next thing our Maiden knows is that she is outside her dwelling on the ground in a puddle. She has no idea how she got there or even where "there" actually is. Recognizing her doorway she now knows where she is but has no idea how she got there, N0r does she know how long she was lying in that puddle. She looks up at the dark night sky. The stars are still out but the night had turned brisk and she was chilled to the bone. Staggering and shivering she stands and turns toward the doorway...

It's dark, but not dark like nighttime. There's a noise, soft but insistent. Our Maiden feels herself pulled by the noise as if she is in a tunnel and the noise is guiding her out. Her eyes flutter then open to a blinding haze, and a stranger! Two strangers in fact. Our Maiden awakens to find herself in her privy. Her vision is cloudy so she cannot clearly see who these strangers are. Her throat is dry so she has trouble asking the strangers how they came to be in her privy. The closer of the 2 stranger hands the Maiden something, Ah her glasses. Now her vision clears considerably. She discovers that the strangers are in fact her Landlords who have been summoned to find her. It is now Noon on the following day and our Maiden has failed to show up to work. Her Coworkers are concerned and asked for their help.

2 more people now enter the already crowded privy. She knows these men, they work with her. Why they are in her dwelling puzzles our Maiden, but it would seem they came out to assist the Landlords in finding and making sure our Maiden was alright. Somehow our Maiden was able to make her way into her dwelling and even change out of her wet clothes. Even more surprising was the fact that her contacts had been removed. What wondrous magic allowed for all of this to occur whilst our Maiden was capernoited? Auto Pilot.

With the state our Maiden was found in the Landlords called for Medical assistance. Now there are 4 more people attempting to enter the seriously overcrowded privy. One healer assists our Maiden to her feet and leads her out to a more spacious part of her dwelling where he and his fellows can assess her condition and render treatment. Many questions are asked and for most our Maiden's answer is "I don't know." Less than helpful in assessing any possible injuries. The fall the previous night is a concern along with what little our Maiden can tell them about the night before. A new and painful bump on her head is also alarming. Head trauma may be afoot. Diagnosis is further hindered because many signs of head trauma mimic the symptoms of a wicked hangover. As the cobwebs clear out of our Maiden's head a bit she begins to feel, and that means she now feels the hangover. She feels awful.

With exuberant amounts of time where our Maiden cannot recall where she was or what she did, a report of previous head injury, excessive drinking and a new bump on her head, the healers are concerned. They wish to take her with them via private chariot to be examined more thoroughly. Our Maiden declines their offer. Private Chariot rides of that nature are quite costly, and she assures the healers that all she has is most likely a nasty hangover. Her tone betrays her confidence in that statement. The healers leave although hesitantly. They caution our Maiden that should the symptoms persist past a hangover's duration to seek out their help immediately. A Concussion or Subdural Hematoma they fear.

Now everyone leaves. The crisis is over now that she has been found, she is ok (relatively) and no further assistance is needed. The healers go off to help someone else. The Landlords return to their duties and her work friends go off to let all the others know that she is alright (sort of). Our Maiden, shaken by the encounter sits staring at her floor. Wondering if she is indeed alright.

The End?

Claws?

2008-12-12T21:42:00.002-05:00

I haven't blogged about anything for awhile and even as I sit here I can't really think of much to talk about. Sure there's tons of drama I could rant about but I'm kinda burned out with most of it. Or at least I'd like to be. Most of the talk at work is about drama and rightly so, but I guess the system is overloaded with said drama. So what to talk about?

I'm debating if I should trim my finger nails. A very random thought indeed. I've let them grow out a bit and now I'm wondering if it's time to declaw this cat. I'm not one for long nails. You'll never see me with french tips or acrylics, but they do look nice. I mean my nails grow nicely so they look nice when they're long. All even and such, not too flimsy. Problem is being longer there's more space for stuff to get stuck under them at work, which is on the gross side because of what I do.

So I dunno. Should I cut them or let them go? They aren't really bugging me yet. At least I haven't gouged out my eyeball trying to remove my contacts, so maybe I'll keep my claws for a bit longer.

I'm Ready for My Close Up...

2008-11-19T22:24:00.002-05:00

I just can't stay outta the news. About a month ago a local news team came out to the Zoo and filmed a "Tough Jobs" segment which is a lot like Dirty Jobs that airs on Discovery Channel (reference "My 15 Minutes" post). Well that segment aired yesterday and since I'm a glutton for punishment here's the link to that video:

http://www.wktv.com/news/local/34643099.html

Now I'll admit as nervous and embarrassed as I was about this video it really turned out well. It's a cute segment and thankfully I don't look like a total fool. It was neat to be the center of attention like that. So enjoy!

Me in Print

2008-11-14T11:57:00.003-05:00

So you all may have read awhile ago that I was the focus of a "dirty jobs" segment that a local news crew was filming at the zoo. That segment will air next week, so if I can find a link to it online I might post it. Assuming it's not too embarrassing for me.

For now let me share with you the story that was on Wednesday's Front Page of the Local section in the Utica Newspaper (called the Observer-Dispatch) or the OD for short. The story is not as important as the picture, but feel free to read it. The link is below. Apparently I've become the new face of the Utica Zoo. I'm everywhere. Too bad it's not a better picture. Focus on the animal, not me ;)

http://www.uticaod.com/homepage/x1751711346/Don-t-cut-funds-zoo-says

UPDATE (Arrest Me)

2008-11-10T19:52:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update for those of you wondering if the great state of IL has tracked me down and slapped the "shiny metal bracelets" on my wrists yet. No they have not found me. I've been masquerading as a Jacob's Sheep for the past week or two, but recently had to put off my disguise when the stud was brought back down to "mingle" with the females. He was a little too interested in the "new sheep" and I wanted no part of that.

Ok but in all seriousness. I received a notice today that I have indeed been excused from Jury Duty so I don't have to show up on Oct. 22nd. Good news especially since it's now Nov. 10th. At least there shouldn't be any warrants out for my arrest for failure to show up now. That would've sucked if I got pulled over for speeding and all of a sudden it's "Mame, I need you to step out of the vehicle, keep your hands where I can see them"

So I won't be getting arrested any time soon at least not by IL troopers. So my time "on the lamb" as a lamb, lol was all for naught. Though I did get an inside look at the secret lives of sheep. Baa, Ram, Yew.....

I Sat on an Alligator Today

2008-10-29T21:23:00.002-04:00

Got your attention didn't I? Well ok it wasn't today it was actually yesterday but I didn't have time to post this story yesterday and the title of "I sat on an alligator yesterday" just doesn't have the same impact.

I did indeed sit on an Alligator. A freak snow storm was hitting my lil zoo yesterday which had the staff scrambling to winterize certain areas of the zoo that we had been putting off because we thought we had more time. It's difficult to accomplish all these things when staff members are taking time off for one reason or another, myself included. With so few of us on staff being one or two people short really hampers endeavors like these.

So as part of our Winter Scramble we had to wrangle our 2 American Alligators out from their outdoor pond and move them inside for the winter, lest they freeze to death.

It was an experience to remember. Mad props to the 3 Keepers who put on the waders and poked around the pond to find them. 2 of the pairs of waders had holes in them so leaks abounded. As the gators were found and dragged onto land someone had to jump on them Steve Irwin style and help hold the mouth closed while another Keeper taped their mouth shut (Go me!). Once we had our gator secured I had to sit on her to keep control of her while we found her male counterpart.

So there I am in a lovely yellow raincoat sitting on an Alligator and sadly no one had a camera. Truly a hilarious photo op that was missed. Sorry

Arrest Me

2008-10-25T17:27:00.002-04:00

So almost 3 weeks ago I received a Jury Duty summons from good ole DuPage County, IL which at the time made me chuckle since I've moved far far away from there. No way was I gonna make that summons. So like a good person I sent back my request for excusal since well....I moved to NY state and wasn't likely to drive/fly all the way back for some stupid trial.

Well today I get a lil notice from them saying that my request for excusal was denied because, "your request does not set forth sufficient grounds for excusal" Seriously?! Moving to another state doesn't provide sufficient grounds for excusal? Then what the eff does?

So I was supposed to have been in DuPage County this past TH for Jury Selection. Oops. Not sure what happens now that I've failed to show up. Are they gonna issue a warrant for my arrest? I'd actually get a kick out of it if they came all the way out here and arrested me for contempt or whatever I'm guilty of now for now showing up.

As if today wasn't a crappy day already, now I have to wonder what the eff is gonna come of this? *feh* Honestly I don't care. Couldn't pay me to care about that crap. Just kinda caps off my craptastic day. I say bring it on, COME AND GET ME IL! I'll be waiting.

The Power of Words

2008-10-22T21:03:00.003-04:00

So if you've been following this blog you'll know that I've been sort down on myself lately. Well on that front things are looking up in a way. Every week I've been getting a lil ego boost courtesy of my part time job.

At the bowling alley where I work there's this sweet old man. He's been bowling for almost 50 years. Amazing I know. He's friends with my boss so he comes up to say "hi" every week and he chides my boss for always having "young pretty women working with him" He especially likes red heads, and while I'm not a true red head I do sport a nifty shade of red that he just loves, (and so do I) so every time he comes and chats with us at the desk he looks at me and pats his heart saying I make his heart beat faster. He also calls me "Red" which seems to be popular nickname out here in CNY. It's the silliest thing but it really makes me feel good inside. I can't help but smile when he comes in each week. So I find myself actually looking forward Tues nights when I'll see my bowling alley buddy and if nothing else feel good about myself for a night. It's amazing what a few kind words can do.

Twist of Fate?

2008-10-20T22:09:00.002-04:00

So I meant to post this before my trip, but alas I crammed my schedule too full with activities and such that it just didn't happen. No matter the effect shall be the same.

I recently went to my first show here in the great state of NY. While it wasn't a Broadway show (it'll happen just not right now) it was my first NY musical. So what show takes the honorific of being my first? If you can believe it, it was "CHICAGO" I know very fitting that the first show I see in NY is of and about the place I came from. Not only that but I saw it on the eve of my trip back to Chicago to visit family. The planets were aligned or something cuz it all fell together. Mercury is in retrograde this month so...

It was a good show. I'd recommend it. Even though I saw it alone I know my girl Asha was with me in spirit. For those who don't know Asha and I always went to see shows together in Chi-town so it was sad to not have her by my side, but she'd never forgive me if I missed out on a great show just cuz she couldn't be with me, and I didn't want to miss it either.

My 15 Minutes

2008-10-14T23:57:00.002-04:00

Today was an interesting day at work. I was informed early this morning that a local TV news crew was shooting "dirty job" segments and would be at the zoo within the hour to shoot a segment. Not only that but my section of the zoo is where they'd be filming so it was my job to show them the ropes and get them dirty. So I was interviewed and filmed for almost 2 hours today explaining a little bit about what I do as a keeper and such. The 2 reporters were good sports cuz I didn't hold back. Every disgusting thing I could think of to do we did. For sure they left dirtier than when they arrived. There were even a few good gross outs by the female reporter which I'm sure the camera guy just ate up.

It was a neat experience but honestly I'd have preferred a lil more notice than I got. Blame for that falls on the Director of the Zoo who supposedly set this thing up or at least coordinated it. Just would have been nice not to be blind-sided by it this morning is all. A days notice is all I would have needed. Oh well I think I did ok anyway. True to form though I was wearing my most wrecked uniform. After all I was going to play with lots of Bleach that day so why ruin more than one set of clothes. Not very flattering though the pants I had on were way too big so I look fatter than I should and my shirt had bleach spots all over it, I hadn't done anything with my hair so it looked a lil eh...... Ah well I guess I really looked the part for having a "dirty job"

So the segment should air out here in early Nov. I'm definitely gonna set the VCR on this one. As embarrassing as it'll be I'll still be on TV. If I can link it to this blog I might but not sure what kind of access I'll have to the footage. At any rate it was a day to remember.

Poop 2.5

2008-10-08T01:28:00.015-04:00

So back in August I had blogged about all the different kinds of poop I step in on a daily basis. Very enlightening information I'm sure, and thanks to a suggestion from my good friend C-chan I've revisited Poop. Below are pix of the animals I take care of and their respective poops.

Some of you may have also seen the original posting of Poop 2, but I've made some changes mainly cuz I didn't like not showing all 13 animals, but also because I didn't like the format I first used. It interrupted the flow of my posting to follow (still figuring out how and when to use gadgets and when to futz with posting options. It's a work in progress.)

I know before I said there were 12 Apostles of Poop, but I was wrong. There are actually 13. The names of each animal are listed below their pix, so for those of you who are not animal people you can know who you're looking at. :)

So thanks C-chan for giving me the idea. For not being a Zoo person you sure can think like one! One of many reasons that we're friends. To all: Enjoy!

Parma Wallaby

Jacob Sheep

California Sea Lion

Flemish Giant Rabbit

Collared Peccary

Peacock

Llama

Muntjac

Goats

Emu

Duck

Domestic Donkey

Bactrian Camel

Lifeline

2008-10-08T00:43:00.002-04:00

So aside from posting pix of poop I've not had much to say as of late. Not that things haven't happened worth blogging about, but I've lacked the time and ok motivation at times to sit down and spill out a few thoughts that are swimming around in my head.

Currently it's about 40 degrees and mostly clear. You can see the stars if you care to look up. A typical autumn night here in Central NY. One I might enjoy more if the seas of my head weren't so stormy. *yes apparently I'm doing a nautical theme*

I am currently adrift upon the Seas of Self Doubt. I have been for the better part of a week now. There's any number or reasons why I've been lost at sea, pick your favorite. It could be the changing of seasons and the decrease of sunlight that has put me into such a dark mood. Perhaps it has something to do with a recent Birthday that has left me moody and brooding. Maybe it has something to do with the alignment of the planets. Mercury might be in retrograde and that's why I'm bummin'. Whatever the reason I am low on moral.

What I'm buggin about has to do with work. I still enjoy what I do and I have no regrets about the decision to pick up and move half way across the country, but when stacked up against my coworkers I've begun to wonder if I even come close to ranking with them.

It doesn't help that most of them are 5+ years my junior, in fact that's part of the problem. The keepers that are my age have been working as keepers for almost 10 years so I feel like I'm not as qualified since I've not had the experiences they have. Those younger than I am will always have more experience than me since they got started before I did. Most of them have been to exotic places and done amazing things. Whereas I've done 1 internship, and was a seasonal keeper for almost a full season. I don't have the experiences they have so I feel unworthy. Sure I have a Masters degree but so freakin' what. It's not like it's being utilized at my current position. I'm upset at my life for not having the opportunities that others had. Yes I'm jealous of my coworkers, I freely admit that. Doesn't change the fact that I see myself as the weakest link and wonder if the Zoo would be better off w/o me.

I can't help the fact that the path I'm walking down did not lead to where I wanted it to when I wanted it to. At least I got here right?! Some never do. Hell I almost gave up on the whole Zoo thing and settled down with a Lab Tech job. The money would have been better but it wouldn't have made me as happy. The Fates had a reason for this but right now I can't see it. I'm too caught up with how I rate compared to my fellow keepers to appreciate my own struggle.

Other work related issues have done little to douse this fire in my brain. Sadly some have fueled the fires of self loathing. Those issues are more personal and I don't feel it appropriate to post them. Let's suffice it to say coworker conflict plays it's part in this tale.

All this adds up to me doubting myself with almost everything I do. I've always sought out attention, but now I seek validation that I deserve to be on staff with those I work with. My poor Ego has taken some serious beatings lately and the poor thing was small to begin with cuz I've never been real self confident. My Ego needs to be stroked a bit if I'm to turn a corner with this funk. Someone needs to throw me a lifeline or tow me to shore, for the Seas of Depression loom.

In Memory Of...

2008-09-13T21:25:00.004-04:00

Jack
Born: June 2007 Died: September 2008

Heads hang low and hearts weep for those on staff at the Zoo. Yesterday we lost our California Sea Lion Pup, Jack. He was just over a year old and his sudden death has shaken the staff to the core. Necropsy reports are pending and we all are doing our best to carry on.

For those involved yesterday was a tough day as will be the days and weeks to follow. We are all plagued with doubts and "what ifs" regarding this tragedy. Could it have been prevented? Should we have done something differently? Was there something else we could have done? Perhaps we'll get answers when the pathology tests come back.

For me there will be no answers. No absolution. I was off yesterday and when my fellow Keepers were calling me to get me to come in and help when this tragedy struck, I wasn't answering my phone. I was out running errands and didn't have my phone with me. After returning home I did not check my phone for messages as I normally would. So I did not find out about this tragedy until it was too late to offer assistance. I was the only staff member that was not there yesterday, and I hate myself for that. No amount of absolution from those who were there will ease the feelings of failure I feel for not being there. Even though there was little to be done at least I'd have been there with everyone else. I have not been able to look anyone in the eye since I found out because I feel unworthy of it. I have never hated myself more than I do now.

As the staff members of the Zoo collectively mourn Jack's passing. We will try to look to the future and what improvements can be made to not only to the exhibit but also to our methods of care and training. Jack was an energetic and care free Sea Lion and he'd want us to remember the joy he brought to all of us and those who visited the Zoo. His loss may leave us all wanting, but he will always remain in our hearts.

Pirates

2008-08-21T11:54:00.009-04:00

For all the fans out there of the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack you may enjoy this. I first heard this song late on night driving home from somewhere. I don't even remember where but that's not important. The song surprised me mainly cuz I wasn't paying attention until I heard the familiar theme from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie in it. It was a dance remix of this popular theme song. I'm a huge fan of movie scores and especially Pirates scores. Luckily for me after the song the DJ actually said who the song was by so I was able to find it and download it. I decided to share it all with you because I really dig the remix wanted to share. Aren't I nice?

Seeker

2008-08-20T20:42:00.003-04:00

Some of you know that I'm big into reading sci-fi books. One of my all time favorites has been the Sword of Truth Series by Terry Goodkind. I first got into this series when I found the first book on the "bargain book" table at Borders years ago. It had a neat title and cool picture on the cover so I said for $5 why not.

The series was fantastic, though sadly not so long ago it ended, but to all good things. I love escaping to a world where magic really exists. I'd love to be a sorceress. Or even for those who know a Confessor. To be that powerful and instill such fear and intimidation...oh yeah I could get into that. It's a classic good versus evil story with humble beginnings with plenty of adventure, magic, struggle, epic fighting and just enough love to take the edge off, but not too much where it's a sappy romance novel *yuck*. I enjoy reading these kinds of books because they take you away from this worlds problems if only for a moment and it at least for me lets my mind relax and get lost in the adventure.

I still remember the point when I had caught up with the series and had to wait for the next book to come out. Waiting is for sure the hardest part. I can be a patient person but not so much when I'm waiting to see how the cliff hanger of the last book plays out. In a way though it was good that the series ended and I did enjoy the ending. Sappy and fairy tale-ish but not terribly so. To let it drag on forever would kill it, and I'm sure Mr. Goodkind wanted to write about something else. At least I hope he does cuz I need a new series to follow and I'd give his next one a shot since I enjoyed Sword of Truth (SOT) so much.

Now thanks to my good friend and computer guru C-chan I was given the exciting news of a TV series of SOT coming this November. Not sure what channel, but whatever channel it's on I'll be tuning in to it or at least taping it if it's on at an inconvenient day or time. The show is being done by the same folks that did Hercules and Xena which is another reason for me at least to tune in. I admit it, I was and still am a fan of Xena. It's one of my guilty pleasures and I don't care what you think about it.

So for those of you who know the SOT series and even for those who don't enjoy the video preview below. From the video the scenery looks amazing and the effects super sweet. I can't wait until it premiers. Enjoy!

Poop

2008-08-06T18:27:00.002-04:00

An intern and I were killing a few moments the other day and somehow we began discussing how many different kinds of poop we step in each day. It's a Keeper thing. My our tally was that we knowingly step in 12 different kinds of animal poop everyday we are at work. That's a lot of poop, just one of many reasons my work boots stay at the Zoo. No way I'm tracking all that into my car and apartment. Of course some days we might step in more poop than others it depends. There are a few animals we work with that we can avoid stepping into their poop but not always. 12 is the average minimum we determined.

Who makes up the 12 Apostles of Poop? Well we've got: Duck, Peacock, Muntjac, Goat, Sheep, Camel, Llama, Donkey, Rabbit, Sea Lion, Emu, and Wallaby. The stinkiest of these being the Sea Lion, though Emu comes in a close second.

Needless to say my boots really are Poop Stompers!

A Different Side

2008-07-31T15:30:00.002-04:00

As if the life of a Zookeeper was fulfilling enough I also work a part time job. Yes it's sad that I have to work another job, but even though us Keepers work with some dangerous animals we are more often than not grossly underpaid. So in order to pay the bills and not be living paycheck to paycheck I have taken on another job.

The job I have is in retail, it's actually at a company I've been employed at for just under 5 years now, so I was able to transfer to the branch out here when I moved. Worked out well for me since I have tenure at this company I have earned a semi decent pay rate and I came in fully trained so the transition was pretty easy. What's sad is that just as I moved out here and got set up at this new store the company announced it was closing a bunch of it's less than ideal stores. This company has some major fiscal challenges since the economy sucks. Of course my new store was one of those chosen to close. Figures. Now as we head into August the clock is ticking down for my store.

We've been liquidating our merchandise since early June so at this point there isn't much left. Watching the changes in the store was something though. It's just odd to see empty shelves and fixtures when we've been trained to keep things as full as possible. The store would normally have merchandise from floor to ceiling, so it's weird to see entire rooms empty and now blocked off to consolidate the remaining merchandise. They've even begun to sell the fixtures themselves. I suppose if I wanted an endcap for whatever reason I now know how much it's valued at. Some stuff is being shipped off to other stores that aren't closing, but most of it is being sold off. It's been an interesting process and I'll admit I'll be sad when the door finally close and the hammer falls. Not just because I will lose that 2nd source of income, but it will be the end of an era for me. After being with the company for so long I guess I'll miss it. I know some of you are groaning right now and saying "yeah right" but seriously I will miss it, but not out of loyalty to the company. I haven't forgotten all the times I've been screwed over by them, but I'll miss the fact that no other PT job will pay me as much as I was earning there and now I have to start over and be trained in something else. I was hoping that this store wouldn't close and I could just do my thing for awhile.

So now I begin the search for a new PT job that will be flexible regarding my Zoo schedule. I suppose I could go to our competitor where it'd basically be the same thing just a different store, but rumor has it they aren't doing so hot either, and maybe it's just time to do something different. It's been an interesting ride though. I've learned a lot of useless information during my time there and made some good friends too, so as bittersweet as the ending will be it wasn't so bad.

Bob the Builder

2008-07-31T14:48:00.003-04:00

I've been meaning to blog about this for awhile now but time and motivation has escaped me until now. It was distinct pleasure awhile ago at work to play "Bob the Builder" It began with the start of breeding season for our Peacocks or rather laying season. We began to find eggs in the barn which normally would be met with glee but sadly these eggs had obviously been laid when the Peahens were up in the rafters of the barn and they had splatted onto the barn floor. If you've ever had to clean up a broken egg that had dried onto a floor then you'll know how frustrating it can be. Had to get the Pressure Washer to get it all. It was one thing to make sure you knew where you were walking in the Peacock barn so you didn't get pooped on but now we had to watch out for falling eggs?!

The thought was to construct a couple nest boxes to see if given a more ideal place to lay their eggs if the Peahens would stop dropping them onto the barn floor. That task fell to me since it was my area. Ok so after some thought and consensus from another Keeper, I set off for Maintenance to see what I could knock together. With the help of the shop guys I soon had lumber cut and was in the process of assembling 2 nest boxes. We even found some paint so they'd look a little nicer and sorta be sealed to keep them from rotting too fast. Thankfully I had interns to work on the basic feeding and cleaning of my animals while I played carpenter.

Installing the 2 nest boxes was a learning experience. Seemed like a relatively simple process: Screw box into barn wall, attach angle support to box, then screw support into wall. Turned out to me more involved than that. Lots of pre-drilling and fighting with half stripped screws along with the dilemma of how to hold up the box as well as screw it in all by myself. Ingenuity prevailed and after much ado and maybe just a lil bit of cursing they were up and ready for business or at least that was the hope. It would be my luck that I'd do all that work and the Peahens would still "scramble" eggs on the barn floor.

Happily the morning after I installed the 2 boxes I found an egg in one and none on the barn floor. Huzzah! I was a proud Peacock at the success of my efforts. I was sharing the news with everyone all day. I'm sure I annoyed a few people since I just wouldn't shut up about it. Too bad I was excited and proud that something I spent so much time on actually worked out. I had earned my moment of "Go Me" and I was taking it. A few mornings later we found a couple eggs back on the barn floor, so maybe it was not a total success after all. The thing was where the eggs were on the floor. They weren't in the middle of the barn like before but right next to the boxes so someone either missed the box or maybe the females were fighting for the boxes. I had made 2 and we have 3 females so maybe making a 3rd box would solve the problem. Back to the shop I went.

This time I was allowed to use the big scary power tools to cut the lumber I needed instead of having the shop guys do it for me. Not sure if they trusted me enough to not cut my hand off or maybe they were too busy with other projects and didn't have time to cut the wood for me. I like to think they trusted me, so that's what we're sticking with. It was fun to use the Radial Arm Saw. My dad has one so I knew the basics of how to use it, but just never actually used it. I even figured out how to turn it so I could cut my 45 degree angle support piece. YEA! The Table Saw still freaks me out a bit, but I can use it just fine. Constantly checked on where my thumbs were while pushing the plywood toward the blade so I didn't cut them off, but that's probably a good thing. So for nest box #3 it was all me! Cut, Build, Paint and Install, I did it all. So now we had 1 box for each Peahen. Now we'd have to wait and see if any more eggs would get scrambled.

Long story short it worked and before long we had quite a few eggs in one of the boxes with only a rare random egg on the floor. I think maybe one of the juvenile females is the culprit of that. She might be too young to fully know what to do with her eggs, or maybe she's just not the smartest bird in the flock. The last egg count ended at 6 but there could be more that we don't know of. After a certain # of eggs have been laid the Peahen will begin sitting on them to begin incubating them, so once this started we didn't want to scare her off the nest so we just left her alone. As a matter of fact any day now those eggs should be hatching. They incubate for about 28 days so soon we'll have Peafowl Chicks. Can't say I've ever seen a newly hatched Peahen/Peacock but soon I'll get to assuming the eggs were all viable.

I'm excited that the nest boxes I built were actually used. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling all over. Also nice to know that I can use the power saws when I need to and not have to wait for one of the shop guys to do it for me. Another exciting chapter in the life of a Zookeeper.

Dark Wizard

2008-07-31T14:21:00.002-04:00

Just saw a preview online for the new Harry Potter movie "The Half Blood Prince" and wow! Definitely darker than the other movies but then again the story line leads us down that path so it makes sense. Anyone who has read the books knows that things get really dark and not so fairy tale fantasy land-ish towards the end. I'm excited for it. I wasn't sure if WB planned on doing movies of all the books or if they were done after "Order of the Phoenix". The ending of that movie seemed to me like a decent place to just leave off, so I wasn't sure if that was the plan since that ending could go either way. I'm glad they are continuing and I'm excited for November when the movie comes out. There haven't been too many movies I've been uber interested in seeing lately. A fair few I'd go see but none that have me running out on my days off to catch a cheap matinee. Ok part of that is cuz I'm dirt poor but that's besides the point.

National Zookeeper Week!

2008-07-19T22:07:00.002-04:00

July 20th-26th is National Zookeeper Week!

Finally a special week dedicated to all of us who are underpaid, overworked, and most of the time are dirty, but wouldn't trade it for the world. So let all those Keepers out there know you appreciate their hard work and dedication. Have you hugged a Keeper today?

Thoughts

2008-07-17T13:54:00.004-04:00

Found this while doing some organizing. No idea where I got it from. I clipped out of somewhere but the lil scrap of paper it's printed on left me no clues as to it's origin. Wish I could take credit for writing it but I didn't and wouldn't feel right about taking credit for someone else's work. Anyway enjoy!

Then again...everyone has a photographic memory-some just don't have film....Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine....Do you get lost in thought and find it unfamiliar territory? Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it....Do you sometimes feel like you're diagonally parked in a parallel universe? You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you...Do you wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges? There's no future in time travel....Do you sometimes open your mouth only to change whichever foot is currently in there...and finally, for the computer minded: Multi-tasking-screwing up several things at once.

A Bit of a Downer (Updated)

2008-07-10T23:28:00.005-04:00

Some of you may have already read this posting, for those who have and commented back to me via e-mail I thank you for your advice and support. The more I thought about this posting after initially typing it the more I wanted to sign on and change if not delete it. It's not that I regret posting it or fear a backlash should a coworker read it. Instead I just began feeling like it was a lil too whiny, and granted I have the right but those who know me know that I'm not big on whining. That and I didn't fully explain what I was feeling. I attribute that to being somewhat tipsy when typing. So I've edited, added, and changed this posting to be a better reflection of me while still venting my feelings on this topic. Yes for those of you who will say I'm doing this just to save some face after a drunk posting you're partially right too, happy? ;)

So today was my day off. My only one for the week since I've been working OT at the Zoo and as many hours as I can handle at my other job. Got some stuff done today that needed to be done which was good. Still lots more to do but I guess it'll have to wait until I get another free moment.

I had some actual fun today or rather tonight. A bunch of us Zoo people went out for a night on the town. Granted I was left out of the loop regarding plans since I was not at work today but I checked in and found out I was more than fashionably late, but I still made it to the party.

Tonight was fun, real fun in fact since I allowed myself to indulge with a few more drinks than usual. It's been a hard week so a little fun was in order. We all drank a bit and danced whilst bar hopping. Those who know me know that I do love to dance though I never claim to know how, but I get out there and move none-the-less. What bothered me that night was the perceived distance between my coworkers and myself. I saw it as having something to do with being openly gay. I'm sure some of you have been out with a group of friends drinking and dancing and have bumped and grinded on a friend just for fun. Maybe you haven't, if that's the case then stop reading this post cuz you won't understand. Not to say that there wasnt' grinding, there was but most of the time I had to initiate it. Again not a problem really but seeing others in the group all up on each other and not me made me wonder why that was so.

I know that not everyone in the world is ok with being around gay people. I've had my share of bad experiences with people who just can't let me live my life in peace because I'm gay. I suppose I had hoped that my coworkers wouldn't fall into that category, but if they aren't comfortable around me there's not much I can do. I've always wondered though when I compliment a friend/coworker what they read into it. It's always been something I've been cautious about around new friends until they get to know me and can tell that I'm just paying them a compliment and nothing more. If I say to someone, "that's a nice shirt on you" or "you have really pretty eyes" it doesn't translate to "I want you" or anything like that it's just a compliment. Everytime though I wonder about unintentionally offending someone. It's a sad fact of my reality.

Do they think I'll get the wrong impression if they dance with me? I wouldn't think anything of it at all just friends having some fun, but there are people out there that think because I'm gay that I'm attracted to any and all women. Are they attracted to all men cuz they're straight? Doubt it. They have a "type" that they like and prefer over others, so why is that idea not carried over? Just because I like women doesn't mean I don't have tastes and preferences. If they feel uncomfortable I suppose I can understand that, but it doesn't make me feel any less sad when they can bump and grind on just about anyone else but me. It's unfortunate that one aspect of my life might be creating this distance. To me it's a small part of who I am but to some it's much bigger. I won't deny or hide who I am for anyone, but it's not like I flaunt it either. I don't go around saying, "Hi! my name is ____ and I'm a lesbian and your name is?"

I'll not deny that I'm jealous of the comfort they all seem to have with each other. Truth be told I'm lonely. I'm hudreds of miles away from friends and family. I'm working a lot at 2 jobs out here so I've had little time to make friends outside of work so I guess I'm feeling threatened by this perceived distance. I say perceived cuz this could all just be in my head, and maybe I'm making too much outta this but it's bugging me and I gotta vent here. Maybe I'm trying to hard. I won't argue it. I would hope not but feeling so isolated out here I just might not realize how hard I might be trying. I'm pretty independent but it's nice to be part of a group too. To go out and have fun, but I guess I'm not feeling that currently and I'm scared. Yes I said it I'm scared. As much fun as my job is it's still a bit freaky to be so far removed from everything and everyone I know. Not being included in something as seemingly trivial as dancing is a bigger deal to me right now.

I dunno maybe I'm just frustrated at my dry spell or I guess at this point it's more of a drought. I need to look into finding a gay bar in town or if there isn't one in town then nearby where I won't have to worry about what messages I'm sending when dancing. The only person that was all up on my ass tonight was some guy which of course did nothing for me but I had some fun with it just because. I don't even think he was truly interested in me I think he was trying to get to a friend of mine but I was cock blocking him. heh heh ;)

Hell I'm not even sure what I'm saying anymore. I'm rambling, even more than usual probably cuz I'm slightly intoxicated at the moment. Hurray drunk Blogging! Will I remember this in the morning? We'll see. The point is I was a lil bummed that my coworkers will dance all up on each other and not on me cuz I'm gay and that bums me out. Or at least that's how it seemed. I don't want to make unfounded accusations but that's how I saw it and it made me sad.

Kinda like family weddings. I hate those. I'm not allowed to bring a date unless it's a guy, so basically for all of them I've been solo. Regardless of whether I was dating someone at the time or not. It's just a crappy situation that I hate being stuck in, but it's either that or my parents disown me or something. It's a stupid double standard which I had hoped was just limited to family functions but as I saw tonight I guess not. The whole thing put a damper on my night. Bummer

Still a good time was had. As far as I know everyone got home safely and I'm guessing only a few of us will be less than chipper come the morning and the start of a new work day. I'll put myself in that category. Definitely a coffee morning tomorrow or technically today since it's now after midnight. It's always good to vent but it does suck to be reminded that no matter how well I fit in with my new coworkers I'm still very different in a way that might make them uncomfortable aroud me and that sucks a lil bit.

A view of our future?

2008-07-03T21:33:00.002-04:00

So I went and saw the movie WALL-E today. It was a cute flick, though with very little spoken dialogue it seemed to lack something. Perhaps it's just that I'm used to lots of talking and plot divulging during movies, but it was still an enjoyable film. I'm always up for the latest Pixar flick. They do great work. Seeing the movie did make me think for a moment is that future portrayed in the film really that far off? It's no secret the human race is destroying this planet. As a species we suck rocks. We've completely taken ourselves out of the "survival of the fittest" equation. Without all our technology most of us humans wouldn't be here. I myself would have died in some accident or been taken by a predator. I've got poor eyesight without the aid of my contacts, and apparently now some of my hearing is gone. My left ear is basically deaf, so according to Darwin I'd not be "fit" to pass on my genes. Lots of us humans are overweight and lazy relying too much on technology to fix our problems. It would not surprise me when the day comes when humans kill off all life on Earth. When that day comes I won't feel sorry for the human race. Nope we brought it on our selves and should *finally* pay the price for our actions. No, the only things I'll feel sorry for will be the plants and animals that we mercilessly killed in our own pursuits of luxury.

As a Zookeeper I am frequently asked about my feelings of captive animals. The answer is not as simple as one would think. Sure I'd love to not need Zoos, but then I'd also be out of a job that I do love very much. I am ok with animals being in captivity, hell if some animals weren't in captivity they'd be extinct or close to. Pollution and human encroachment on their habitats among other factors have driven some species to be found only in captivity. That is a sad realization. I feel it's important to not only show the rich diversity of the planet but to also educate future generations about the animals plight at our own hand in the hope that they will become part of the solution. The problem cannot be fixed at this point we've grown too big, but we can stop it from getting worse. I'm against taking animals from the wild to be put into a Zoo or to become someones designer pet. Most Zoo animals now are captive breed either in house at that Zoo or as part of a breeding project. These animals are more accustomed to human contact and fair better in captivity with human caretakers.

There is nothing good or right about someone owning a wild animal as a pet. I've seen too many documentaries and shows about people with too much money buying a Tiger cub on the black market to have as a status symbol. These people have no idea what goes into raising a Tiger. It's not like a house cat where you can put down some food and be done wit it. Most of the time they don't realize how large the animal is going to become when it's grown. When they realize that they don't know what to do so of course the animal suffers. People that buy exotic snakes not knowing that it's going to grow to 20 feet think for some reason that they can just let the snake go and it'll be fine. It's a tropical snake from S. America oh yeah it'll do fine in the nearby woods in NY state or wherever.

We like to think that humans are the top species, but the ignorance of some of us only reinforces my doubts of that claim. Granted most of us humans are decent, intelligent people who would research any pet they are considering before buying it. It's that other percentage who apparently have never had to take responsibility in their lives that tarnish the species as a whole.

If we have any hope to avoid the future that was depicted in WALL-E we need to wake up and take a lil responsibility. There will always be those who don't care so the rest of us who do will have to pick up a little slack so those lazy idiots don't bring us all down.

Who knew a Disney/Pixar flick would have aroused all that right? Well most of this rant has been in my head for awhile but seeing what happened to Earth in that movie and knowing that that could actually happen stirred it all up. Still a cute movie and worth seeing.

Spring Blooms

2008-07-03T00:01:00.005-04:00

Here's a couple of pics I'm proud to say I took.
This is one of our Waterlily's at the Zoo.

I'm most proud of this shot. Go me!

My Zoo

2008-07-02T23:11:00.004-04:00

Ok so it's been awhile since I've posted anything but time gets away from me. I've been working 6 days a week at the zoo since well pretty much since I was hired so my free time is limited. Love the overtime so I'll take all I can get to pay off the costs of moving out here. The down side is I have only one day to myself and sometimes that just isn't enough. Not to mention the fact I work a second job, but that's another story. Lots of things have happened since I moved out here 2 months ago, but I haven't had the time or motivation to type them out. I'm gonna try now to cover at least a couple of them but we'll see how it goes.

First the skinny on my new Zoo. I work at the Utica Zoo here in lovely scenic Utica NY. It's not the largest all inclusive Zoo in the world. It's no Brookfield Zoo (I'm originally from Chicago) but it's pretty nifty all the same. I work in the Children's Zoo/Asian Realm section of the Zoo where I work with mostly hoofstock animals (that's animals with hooves on their feet for those who don't know) like Goats (Tennessee Fainting, Nigerian Dwarf and African Pygmy), Llamas, a Donkey, a Bactrian Camel, Jacob's Sheep, a Collared Peccary (pig), and a Muntjac (tiny deer like animal). I also work with quite a few birds both big and small, from our Screech Owl all the up to our Emu, with just about everyone in between. Some are Raptors (Birds of Prey) Harris and Red-Tailed Hawks, Barn and Great Horned Owls, & an American Kestrel. Others are not: Peacocks & Peahens, Ducks (various species), Golden & Reeve's Pheasants, and a Black Crowned Night Heron. I've also got a bunch of different turtle species in my area. No fish, but I have California Sea Lions, Flemish Giant Rabbits, Parma Wallabies, and a Cat. Not too shabby for one section of the Zoo.

There are 2 other sections of the Zoo: Core and North Trek. Well really 3 if you count Diet Preparation/Quarantine, but visitors can't go there. Most of the large Carnivores i.e. Tigers, Mexican Wolves, Boar etc are in North Trek. Core has the Primates and the Reptiles and Amphibians, so all in all we have a decent collection for being a medium size Zoo. I'll work on getting some pics posted soon. I have to get them off my camera first.

My fellow Keepers are all really cool. I fit in well with them. Almost too well it seems. It was scary how easily I meshed with them. Just proves that they are just as sick and twisted as I am, but don't let that scare you off of visiting us. As long as you realize that yes we may bite (usually only when asked but if provoked...) so be careful but by all means feed us. We like our animals respond well to Positive Reinforcement Training. Want us to do something? Offer to buy Pizza and Beer and we're on it. I guess most people are aren't they? Well now you know the scientific term for it.

Eventually I'll get trained in all of the different areas of the Zoo but for now I'm running things down in Children's Zoo. It's a lot of raking though currently with Interns I don't do as much which is a nice break, but we also have most of the Zoo's current babies. We have baby goats and baby rabbits currently with more kid goats on the way. So while my area may not have all the cool exotics I have the babies. Who can resist a baby animal? If you can you have no heart and should die a horrible slow death. Ok maybe not but you're weird.

There's lots to do in a day at my Zoo, hey that rhymed! Lots more than what I was doing at my old Zoo. Much love for my old Zoo back in Chicagoland but it can't compare to the opportunities here. You could almost put my old Zoo into the space that the Children's Zoo takes up. It was a shock to see how big my area was. The first few days while I was being trained I kept thinking "I'm supposed to do all this in one day?! By myself?!" Even still I don't miss "walking the path" at my old Zoo functioning more as a security guard than a Keeper. Sorry Randy it had to be said. So this move was an upgrade for sure even our Keeper car that we use to haul stuff around our areas is bigger than what I was used to. If you're reading this Randy or any of the PPZ Zew Croo, My new Keeper Car could kick your Keeper Car's ass! Yes Randy even yours. Bring it on! The first time I drove the Keeper Car I liked having some power and speed.

So that's the skinny on my new Zoo. Pics to come just as soon as I find my camera cord. Still have a random box or two left to unpack. It must be in there somewhere.

My Underlings

2008-06-03T22:08:00.002-04:00

Today was a very good day at work. Not just because the weather has been great and I'm on my way to a rockin albeit Farmer's tan but a tan none-the-less, but because my underlings arrived.

Yes the summer interns for the Zoo started today. Each area gets 2 interns who rotate through all the areas of the Zoo to get a nice feel for what us Keepers do all the time. This will cut down on my stress and fatigue levels immensely. At least once everyone is trained a bit and is able to go off and do things without supervision. My guys are very nice young men who are actually from the same state though opposite ends as I understand. One is more of the talkative type and the other is more reserved. Both are good workers and really helped me out today. It's going to be soooooo much nicer having them around. All day they kept commenting on how the hell I do all that work by myself. It ain't easy and by the end of the day I'm dead on my feet but it is fun when I can steal a moment to play with the baby goats or bunnies.

So at least for a few months it will be smooth sailing at work, well smoother anyway. This gives us a chance to work on other special projects and training whereas we'd never have time. It's kinda weird that I've only been on staff for just under a month and I'm already in charge of Interns. It's a good test to make sure I know what the heck I'm doing. I like a good challenge. Keeps me on my toes!

Now if we could only get a few more Full time Keepers we'd be set. Then we all could stop working 6 day weeks. Although the OT is nice to see on ye ole paycheck.

At any rate Hurray for the Interns!

Thank You Christie

2008-05-27T21:42:00.000-04:00

And so it begins. Right here and now on May 27th, 2008 at 9:44pm EST I am writing my first blog. This is something that I wasn't sure I'd ever do. Not that I was against it, I think the outbreak and craziness of Myspace turned me off to even the idea. So I dedicate this first posting to my good friend Christie. For it was she who planted the seed about setting up one of these things. Not that I caved to her peer pressure, nay but seeing as I've just moved from Chicagoland to Central New York this might be a decent venue to tell everyone back in the Chi what's going on my end without typing the same story again and again to almost everyone I know. Not that that won't still happen, but at least for posting pics and such this will be much easier and won't bog down anyone's e-mail either.

So here's to you C-Chan! *salutes* You started out trying to make me a gamer, which you did. I'm not the huge fantastic gamer that you are but I do have a PS2 and maybe 4 games. Now you can add Blogging to your list of accomplishments. What's next? The SIMS? Will you teach me to draw like you and speak Japanese? Are you trying to make me into some sort of clone of you?! Do you think the world could even handle that?! ;) Even so I'd go willingly. I miss our anime nights. I miss a lot of things.

So there it is my first blog. It ain't much and it ain't pretty but it's there. More interesting stuff will follow I assure you but since I just set up the account I had to say something right off the bat and what better than a tribute to the one who is responsible for this. Thanks Christie.